....takes out headphones and start listening to romantic songs featuring myself and one of the so many crushes.
I don't know what hit me now. I felt bad. No, it's not because someone just gave a philosophical lecture or I have met some "Strong Independent Girl". It's all of a sudden realization. So deep that after 7 months I am opening my website and writing.
I had a habit since say 2nd standard? I have loved listening to romantic songs imagining me and my that time crush dancing together, floating in the air, singing in classroom and all the crazy and normal stuff. I had grown up in that way. I have always, inside my deep thoughts desired to impress everyone. Like Always. And this was not limited to boys, I would imagine my parents seeing me on stage dancing on some great songs or my teachers getting shocked by my dancing talent, etc, etc.
I am now realizing how rooted I am to this characteristic, so innocent at the start but gradually impacting me and my work at a huge scale. And it's not good or bad that I am pondering, it is just a realization of the way I am brought up.
I have been a topper in my school times. Mostly. Got selected to a good institute and then to a good company as a software engineer with good colleagues and manager. All of it, is mostly seen in two ways by almost every human on this planet.
- She was kinda blessed with good aptitude and started getting lucky having a National Institute in home state, winning hacks, getting good offers because of a good university and mostly getting everything with a little effort.
- OMG, She is an epitome of a smart girl rising above and working hard to achieve her dreams.
Honestly, I don't feel either way.
It will become a little weird if I try to justify why I don't feel that way and why you all are wrong. But hey! I am not gonna do that.
I just want to say:
- Thanks Dad, for making me study very hard and exposing me to a variety of activities in my early school days so that my dumb mind struggles and becomes smarter.
- Thanks Mom, for being rude and harsh on me in my early days so that I realize the importance of peace and happiness and learn how to always excel in adjusting all sorts of people in my life.
- Thank you to my teachers to make me skillful and be ready to help whenever required.
- Thanks to all my friends for making my life fun and interesting.
I can go back to my past and discover all sorts of fu**ing excuses that I hear from most people. But I am among those who asked the help of a teacher with a good attempt to solve a problem, most of the peeps either went blank or didn't care to attempt.